This is so true. I live for my husband's smiles. No matter how bad the situation is, if he smiles at me, I relax. He has learned this truth. If he wants control of a situation, then smile. I am far more likely to give him control of a situation if he smiles and I 'feel' that he has everything in hand, than if he gets angry or starts arguing with me.
A smile is an emotional way to tell a woman that everything is all right, you are in control, and you don't see why everyone else is upset.
Males Take Note: Singing is the Way to a Partner's Heart
You're a warm-blooded male, you're desperate to find someone special and you reckon you've tried everything? Well here's a tip from the experts: try singing.
Australian scientists have found that bursting into song is a sure-fire way to attract the attention of passing females.
But before you try it in public, a word of caution. The researchers were working in the Pacific Ocean. And they were studying humpback whales.
The marine biologists found that male humpbacks who sing while migrating to their summer feeding grounds attract more mates than their silent companions.
They even discovered that the male singers slow down when they are swimming to make sure their songs are heard by as many females as possible.
Whale songs are among the most complex sounds made by any animal, and can be heard underwater at a distance of more than 15 kilometres.
Song selection is important here though. We have no way of determining the song list of the average whale so they're no help, but you should be thoughful when deciding on the tune you're planning on belting out.
So, the next time you're out on a date, the conversation drops a little, you're thinking to yourself "What can I do here...?", launch into song.
Pick the mood right and it could be a great success - assuming of course you can sing. If it doesn't go well, picture what happens late at night in your average karaoke bar. Not a good thing on your first date.
You'll never look back...but a few others in the restaurant might.
See partner4real for more health, diet, nutrition and online dating tips for singles.
.See partner4real for more health, diet, nutrition and online dating tips for singles.
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Friday, March 21, 2008
Males Take Note: Singing is the Way to a Partner's Heart
How to Mend Fast From a Broken Past Relationship - Part Three
What are emotions? Why do they control us? Why do they ruin our futures?
I think emotions are nothing more than memories. They are memories that we want vengeance for. As my mother said 'we were determined to get our pound of flesh.' These memories do not care who we make pay for the crimes done to us - they just want retribution.
Even if we get it, that doesn't make the memory go away, so later, we continue the vicious cycle, again, and again...
How to Mend Fast From a Broken Past Relationship - Part Three
This is the third phase of your worthwhile series on "mending fast from a broken emotional past." The quickest and most effective way to move from one stage to the next in life and love is through a personal spiritual awakening or practical enlightenment, which you can incorporate and use in your everyday life.
There is nothing more refreshing than an internal spiritual renewal. In this state, old memories and emotionally-unhealthy experiences will be tossed away and your total being shall be transformed. With this kind of personal revival you will definitely have an enjoyable survival in your life and love relationship. You will no longer be held captive by any emotional disturbances and circumstances which once had you drifting along in life, taking whatever was dished out to you. This is so powerful that you will become the writer, the director, and the producer of your own life's script. You shall pick and choose (or refuse), whom you will allow (or block from entering) into your heart and into your personal environment.
Isn't this amazing? Spiritual renewal is personal power! Personal power allows us to choose without being confused. No longer will you have to wait around for the telephone to ring, wondering, When is he going to call? Nor will you have to feel stuck in a miserable, drawn-out, tug-of-war relationship, pondering, "Will he ever stop cheating?"
You won't fall for any of the lies and false pledges of players who make promises such as "Honey, you light up my life; I want to buy you the Sun, the Moon, and the stars," when actually they can't afford to even
buy you a light bulb.
No; not anymore. You'll tell the unworthy lover boys, "The Lord is my light and my salvation. I am a new creation, and I have no time to join you in careless recreation. I am now ready for my very own healthy love relationship with my exclusive soul mate-a real and decent man-and since you are not ready to make a sincere and honest commitment, you're not the one, and I will no longer let you occupy time in my personal space because your presence is blocking my blessings."
Whew! What a mouthful. To keep it simple: It's time to drop the dead weight date, and get yourself a heavyweight mate. You go girl!
Let's get you spiritually recharged through a delightful four-fold process of Dedication, Meditation, Visualization, and Affirmation:
1. Dedication is perpetual prayer, praise and worship. It's thanking God for everything (and even in advance); for your life, family, abundant blessings, joy, and your specially selected husband. And above all, for making you such a beautiful, brilliant, delightful, and dynamic treasure.
2. Meditation is deep relaxed thinking. In this state you are at peace with yourself and can think clearly about exactly what you want in your life. When you meditate, set aside some personal time to find a private space where you won't be disturbed by daily chaos. Get comfortable, either sitting or lying down, and enjoy the peaceful calmness in your spirit. Think about the people, places, and things that bring you joy, and the new experiences you'd like to explore. Be at ease in your body temple, and enjoy your pleasant thoughts.
3. Visualization is using your imagination to form a picture of what you want to achieve. It can be described as "organized daydreaming." We create random images in our minds when we daydream, but in visualization, we tailor these images in our specific desires. For example, if you want a new car, picture yourself sitting in it and driving it. If you want a healthy relationship, picture yourself being happily in love. I must warn you here that you cannot use this as a kind of mind control to get a certain man to fall in love with you. It won't work. All human beings have the gift of free will (or free moral faculty) from God. So no one can spiritually control another person's mind against their will (nor should he or she want to). What will work, however, is if you visualize yourself in a loving, fun, and peaceful relationship (and environment), with a terrific feeling of healthy love flowing all through your entire being.
4. Affirmation is creating reality through the spoken word. You can use it to program new behavior, relationships, friendships, and just about everything into your life. This technique is so powerful that ancient wisdom urges, "Be careful what you ask for [affirm]; you might just get it [you will if you believe]." Here's a tip that will help you affirm healthy love into your life quickly: Don't affirm in the future tense, "I will be happy" or "I will be loved." Instead, boldly declare in the present tense, "I am now happy," and "I am now loved."
Always affirm with deep conviction, absolute intensity, and feeling. Be careful not to just reel your declarations off your tongue, or merely recite them. Believe what you're stating with all your heart. This is not just a hope, want, or wish, it is real. If you truly believe, you will certainly receive.
If you've completed all three phases of this relationship series, you now have the "insider's secret" and formula for turning around your life and love relationship for the better. First, take the time to restore and pamper the true essence of who you are, and when you're ready, be sure to embrace the sacred healthy love relationship you deserve. Why settle for less when you deserve the best?
An award-winning, bestselling author of ten books, she is the popular relationship columnist for the London-based Pride magazine. For Dr. Grace's relationship books and CDs visit www.myhealthylove.com
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Couple Relationship Secret - 2 Ideas for Romancing your Partner
The most heart breaking time of my life was the first few months after I married. My first husband did all the right things. He courted me, bought me gifts, talked to me. Then, after the marriage, he treated me like a house servant. In his defense, he was only acting the way his father taught him to. He married a wife so he had someone to clean his house.
The second time I married, I made sure that the person I married knew that I was not a house servant, and that I expected the romance to continue. This was not a fail safe, but it did set the ground for future growth.
After some rough spots, we learned that romance was not an imposition, it was fun. We are still dating, and teaching our son how to continue the romance after he marries.
Couple Relationship Secret - 2 Ideas for Romancing your Partner
When you meet that special someone, the first 6 six months is super hot and heavy. You simply can't wait to see or talk to your new lover. Sex is happening as much as you possibly can. You're still learning about each other, every date is a learning experience about the other person.
Romance that seems to be effortless during the beginning of a couple's relationship is now fading over time. This is natural as a couple becomes more familiar with each other, they are making less effort to romance each other. When this happens it is time for the couple to start making a conscious effort to recharge their romance, and hence their relationship as well.
Here are few ways to recharge your Romance and to enhance your relationship:
Remember your first date with your partner, the amount of effort you had put in, to prepare for it. The excitement you had in anticipation of your hot date with this person. Now you can plan a date with your partner to recreate your first date together all over again. Go to the same restaurant, and order the same food you did for your first date. Also, don't forget to put in the same effort you had to prepare for your first date. This definitely will recharge your romance, and will bring excitement into your relationship that was like it was in the beginning.
Tell your partner, "I love you". Make this a daily habit if possible. Although you may think that they know you love them, no one has ever tired of hearing being told "I love you" in a healthy romantic relationship. Those 3 little words simply melt hearts.
And now I would like to invite you to read the complete article for more ideas on How To Add Romance Into Your Relationship With Your Partner!
Eugene Cheung is a coach, author and speaker. His enjoys writing about joy and happiness, law of attraction, personal development and internet marketing. More articles at www.InLoveTogether.com
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Thursday, March 20, 2008
When your Partner Doesn’t Talk
Why do women need to hear men talk? Easy, because women are social. But, men do not need to 'take it.' My husband has times when I can bug him and talk. He also set a timme limit. I can talk about anything I want, and he will listen, for 1 hour, before 10PM. This means he turns the television off and looks at me.
Now, this is a win-win situation. I no longer wake him up crying at night, something that makes him frustrated and angry - because he can't fix it. He also doesn't have me become so frustrated that I wake him at 3am to talk for 3 hours.
I get my chance to let it out - when he is not frustrated. I have learned that this is a gift he gives me, so I try to keep it short, and I try not to talk for more than once a week. I also make sure I don't interrupt a sports event.
When your Partner Doesn’t Talk'
In cafés, restaurants and at the water cooler women complain that men don’t talk about their feelings. Admittedly, this is a stereotype.. Some women don’t talk and some men do. In any case, what do you do when your partner doesn’t talk?
Some of the most difficult things to talk about are problems in your relationship. Some people argue that they feel uncomfortable talking about relationship issues or that their parents didn’t handle conflict well so they didn’t learn how. Often people dislike talking about problems because they fear it will lead to an unproductive argument.
In this case, it can be helpful to have some guidelines for problem-solving. Most people (even conflict-avoiders) are willing to engage in discussion if they feel there’s a good chance the issue can be resolved. I call this “productive arguing.”
You can start to improve your communication by establishing some “rules of engagement”. Select a time when you’re getting along well and you’re both in a good mood. Sit down together and talk about the ways that you would like to improve your communication. Stay away from blame and don’t point out your partner’s past mistakes. Instead, focus on how you want your communication to be different in the future. Some examples might be “Listen without interrupting”, “Talk for no more than one minute”, “Offer solutions” and “If you don’t like the other person’s suggestion, offer one of your own.”
In the beginning stages, it’s important to know how to de-escalate an argument. The best way is to separate when things start to heat up. Then agree that you will meet again within twenty-four hours to discuss it again. If the discussion deteriorates the second time, you may want to consider couples therapy. It can be helpful to have a neutral third party who can create a safe environment where you and your partner can begin to learn to resolve problems more effectively.
Most important, don’t be discouraged. Communication problems can feel overwhelming. In my experience, however, these problems are usually resolved with the help of a skilled couples therapist.
For more information on this therapist and other articles, visit www.therapylinx.com!
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Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Some Useful Tips for a Successful Relationship
Some Useful Tips for a Successful Relationship
Many people are using online dating as an alternative to meeting new people, people we would never have met had it not been for online dating. The idea of finding an activity partner, soul-mate, or a pen pal is somewhat new to us. However, thousands of people have had success at finding a partner through the use of an online dating site. But how can you guarantee the success of your newly found relationship?
In this article we will give you some useful tips you can follow to improve the longevity of your relationship.
You should date slowly.
All too often many singles get caught up in the heat of the moment and they tend to move a bit faster than they should. Recent studies have proven that singles who date for at least two years before getting married have a significantly better chance of their marriage being successful.
Dating slowly can be difficult. Physical attraction and lust can force couples into a serious relationship before they are emotionally ready for it.
There are many older singles who tend to move faster during a relationship because they believe moving slowly is wasting time. However, it's better to be single than it is to be in an unhappy relationship. You should take things slowly if you are seeking a serious long term relationship.
You should have realistic expectations.
We have all been influenced by the media in some way or another sometimes we may have unrealistic expectations about our relationships. Life can be a complicated and stressful experience, having a good relationship with your partner will not make life easier.
You should always date to please yourself.
We have all been taught that we should not be selfish however, when it comes down to whom you should date the rules may be different. Being selfish is crucial when choosing a relationship partner. If your parents and friends approve of your partner it's great. However, if they do not approve the final decision is yours.
You should date with a purpose.
We all have positive and negative things about us and our personality however, serious personality imperfections deserve special attention. If you are considering a long term relationship with someone you are dating you need to face the facts which has been responsible for many unsuccessful marriages.
If you have been struggling with personal problems while you are dating, they will not go away after you are married, sometimes they get worse.
The belief that problems such as drug dependency, alcoholism, and physical abuse will magically resolve on their own is wishful thinking. It's best to deal with these problems early on in the relationship. If the person is unwilling or unable to change, you should end the relationship and move on.
These are a few tips you can use to ensure the success of your relationship. Dating slowly and creating a solid foundation is the key to success and longevity in any relationship.
To learn more about this dating services, please visit dating services for active singles
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Tuesday, March 18, 2008
How To Win a Woman's Love
I once talked to a famous marriage therapist who said that 'once a woman decides to leave, there is no winning her back.' He didn't say this to disparage women, but to remind men that women do not forgive indefinitely. They do have limits.
Women were forgiving, but they won't be treated like a door mat forever. The time to 'save your marriage' is long before you find how far she will let you push her.
My new husband puts it this way 'you can either give your wife your time now, or your money later.'
How To Get Your Girlfriend Back: Shocking Truth
In this article, we're going to talk about the common mistakes most all men make when trying to get their girlfriend back. Pay close attention because you're probably doing at least some of these things without even knowing it. If you want her back bad enough, you'll read on.
1. Telling her you love her over and over again.
Don't act like a little puppy dog and beg for her back. She'll just lose respect for you and you'll only end up pushing her further away from you than she already is. A lot of guys thing the reason she left them is because they didn't verbalize their love enough when in fact this is usually never true.
2. Buying her flowers and other such gifts.
Bribery isn't going to work when getting your girlfriend back. That's actually how women interpret it you know. As bribery and they think it's pathetic. Save the flowers for the relationship; not the breakup.
3. Acting depressed and sad in order to make her feel sorry for you.
Acting like a little puppy dog isn't going to win you any points either. This just makes you look desperate and thus pushes her further and further away from you. Man up and pull yourself together.
4. Generally being overly nice in order to "win her over".
Again, acting overly nice will be interpreted by your ex as you being a little puppy dog. I'm not saying you should suddenly start acting like a jerk (that won't get you anywhere either). There is a line to be drawn and generally kissing up to your ex girlfriend will only cause her to lose respect for you.
5. Using guilt to get her back. Kids, money, etc.
I see a lot of guys trying to manipulate their ex girlfriends with kids, money and other such things. You can make her feel as guilty as you want but that will not get back the one thing you need in droves (attraction). This type of behavior will only make her resent you all the more.
6. Attempting to persuade her with reason and logic to get back with you.
Us men are very logical creatures. We think that everything can be fixed logically. Attempting to persuade your ex girlfriend to go back out with you (for whatever reason) will only push her away. She doesn't want to hear logic, she wants to feel emotion. Emotion is the key.
7. Doing absolutely nothing.
And finally, doing absolutely nothing will definitely ensure your failure. There are very specific steps you can follow to get your ex girlfriend back. These steps are based on advanced female psychology.
To sum everything up, you can't use cheap manipulation that women can see right though when attempting to get your ex back. Buying her presents, using guilt, making her feel sorry for you, telling her you love her (with an agenda), using logic and reason (when women will only respond to emotion). Don't feel bad though; almost every guy going through a breakup does
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Learn to Be a Caring Person
If you do not want to care about the people in your lives, then your relationships are doomed to fail. Do you really believe that someone wants to marry you - just to feed your selfish needs with nothing in return? No emotionally healthy woman marries to have someone else 'pay the bills.'
I once heard a public speaker say 'if you want to know why your relationships are not working - look in the mirror.'
This is so true. If you are not attracting emotionally healthy people, then you are not emotionally healthy. Before trying to 'fix' the other person - try fixing yourself.
The School of Caring: Learning to Be a Caring Person
It is a loaded question, but one that will determine how you deal with others, particularly with the women you wish to get to know better, date, and eventually enjoy romantic times with. Early in our dating lives, the object is very often about your needs. You are interested in spending time with the most beautiful, sexy, and exciting women you can find and maybe getting as far as the bedroom if you can.
In that way, early courting and seducing is all about the joy of sexual conquest, and there is a pleasure to that. But over time, you will begin to desire more than that. You will notice that the relationships you are in that work well for those self-centered goals are not very satisfying in other, more meaningful ways. They do not tend to last very long and, to be brutally honest, you are spending time with girls with the same values you used to hook up with them, and those values are not very uplifting in the long run.
So what we really want is those same traits in a woman that we had when we were just about conquest, but somehow more as well. We want our women to always be beautiful and sexy and touch us in that way. But the ideal would be that she is also a woman of values, of sensitivity, of thought and feeling so you can continue to see her and discover the complex woman in her . . . all the while enjoying the thrills that you had during the sexual conquest phase.
That is a tall order. But it is not impossible. You will have to change the types of women you approach and flirt with, your flirting style, and your method and plans in the early dates with the women you meet who seem to fit your new specifications. But those women do exist, and you are on the right track for building relationships that will truly become ones you will treasure and nurture . . . relationships that will much more fit the definition of romance rather than one night stands or affairs.
A Change of Focus
In addition to changing your flirting style, you should begin to alter the list of objectives you use when flirting and picking up women. Women who will be wonderful romances for you are more complex and have greater requirements for you to fill their emotional needs before you can grow close to them. Women approach dating much differently than we do as men. Some of the values that mean a lot to them are . . . - They want to feel you are interested in them. Talk more about them than about yourself. - They want to feel you are faithful and that you will be there for them long into the future. - They want to know you are both strong and manly, but sensitive and gentle with them emotionally and sexually.
They want you to be a caring person. For a woman, the central organ of her romantic life is her heart, not her genitals.
That last one is absolutely the magic lamp for gaining the affection and romance of a beautiful, sexy woman. So when you answered the question at the beginning, did you answer that you are a caring person?
It is time to be honest and, for a lot of us guys, caring and concern for others especially at the emotional level is not our strength. But just like working a muscle to build strength and endurance, it is something that can be enhanced and made better over time. There are things you can do when not with a woman that will make you a more caring person in general. While the suggestions listed in this article may not seem on the surface to be related to dating or romance, they will alter how you think and feel and make you a more caring, compassionate, and empathic person. This, in turn, will be reflected during your time with your lover, and the outcome will be a stronger, healthier, more satisfying and romantic relationship.
Concern for Animals
When child psychologists or parents want to improve a childs ability to care for others, they often use a pet to help with that. You can use that impulse to care for a pet to expand this part of your personality, too. If you do not have a pet, now is the time to think about getting one.
Get a pet that you can have a relationship with, such as a dog or a cat. A goldfish cannot communicate with you very well. If you have a feeling for a certain kind of animal, use that to move you toward caring for the animal. It is always best to start out with a young animal a puppy or a kitten because they are so needy and responsive. At the same time, they are very affectionate and will bond to you, so you will begin to get both the feeling of warmth that caring for others brings, as well as the rewards.
Make time for your pet. Be patient when they make mistakes and think of them as a member of your family. At times you will forget you are doing this to help you be a better boyfriend, and that is good. That means you are genuinely becoming a caring person, not just manipulating yourself so you can make more progress with the ladies.
Caring for Humans
Now you can expand your feelings of concern and desire to help others to the disadvantaged in society. If you want to really jump start your emotional side toward caring, go and visit a childrens hospital and take the kids some presents. Your heart will be tugged by how adorable and yet how needy they are and, as with the pet, they will reward you with affection and gratitude, which will accelerate you toward becoming an even more caring individual.
You can take the momentum you got from that visit and expand your caring concern for the homeless, for victims of disasters overseas, or for orphans. If you would like to become involved in one of the organizations that lets you send a small amount of money to an orphan and exchange letters and pictures with them too, that will make this side of you grow and become more feeling.
You are Not a Wimp
During this time, as you find new emotions beginning to spring up inside you, you may feel you are becoming soft or less manly. In fact, the opposite is true. Your ability to feel and care for others is the height of manliness. It will play a major, all-important role down the road when you become a father and husband.
Moreover, the ability to be tender, to nurture and pamper someone you care about, will naturally come out in your tender times with your lover. She will notice it, and just as the pets and the children poured love back to you, so will your sweetheart. That loving will be romantic, intimate, and exciting in a way you never could achieve before when all you wanted to do was have short term thrills with sexy babes.
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Healthy Aging and Marriage
I don't really do compatability tests. You are either interested in creating a relationship, or you just want to manipulate others to get your own way. But, aging can cause problems. What happens if one person has a stroke? The other person may be forced into a caregiver's roll they are not prepared to handle. After all - not all of use are born nurses.
There are so many health problems that can destroy a marriage, leaving one person a widower while the other is still alive. I hope you never understand the truth behind that statement.
Healthy Aging and Marriage
Aging is a fact of life; nothing that we do or say can really change this fact. As we all get older, our health is going to change as well; hopefully good health stays with our families and loved ones as long as possible, but sometimes we just aren't that lucky, and fate deals us a different hand than we expected. What exactly are we supposed to do? How should we deal with it?
Some people deal with aging better than others. Are you someone who wants to age gracefully or are you going to put up a fight? Is having your first grey hair or losing your last hair on your head the end of the world or is it going to be a day that you remember for the rest of your life?
If you have a spouse or long-term partner, you may notice that they are growing older. We often don't notice that we are getting older ourselves. In your partner you might see it on the number of hairs in his comb; the number of pairs of pants that she can't get into; or the new wrinkle that she had whenever she smiles is now on her face all the time now, even when she isn't smiling.
I have one client who is having a disagreement on what they think is the best way to age. Take a look at their story, and tell me what you think.
Bob and Kelly
Bob and Kelly have been married for more years than Kelly would admit it. In fact, if you subtracted the years that they were married from how old Kelly claims she is, she and Bob would have gotten married when Kelly was only 12. Kelly goes to the spa every week, won't step outside the door without a hat for fear of wrinkles and wants to get cosmetic surgery to make her face and body look even younger.
Bob says that she loves Kelly for the way that she is, and that she doesn't want her to change the way she looks too drastically, especially with something that has risks involved with it and could possibly be dangerous.
What do you think about this? Have you or your friends had an experience like this, where one person in the couple wants to stay young, while the other wants to just let nature take your course? This may not just include getting plastic surgery done or spa days, but can include getting a toupee, buying a fast sports car on your 50th birthday, dating a much younger man (or woman), or just trying to hang out more with your adult children and their friends.
If you are worried about the way that you are aging, one thing that might help is the Intimacy Paradox. This paradox is something that I've been sharing with my private clients for years. The principle is pretty easy to understand, and says that if you want to have a great marriage, you need to accept yourself 100% and you need to accept your partner 100% for who they are right now. If you plan on changing yourself or your partner when you (or they) don't want to, you will end up having resentment in your relationship.
Do you think that the Intimacy Paradox would work in Bob and Kelly's relationship? Would it work in yours? 100% acceptance of yourself and your partner may seem like it is difficult to do; what do you think that the most difficult thing to accept about your partner is going to be? Is there something that you don't think that you could accept about your partner?
In this case study, another of my couples that I help out is having problems with health and aging. See if you can relate to them, and see if you have had these problems or if can envision having these problems in the future.
Sally and Marty
Sally and Marty aren't an old couple. They got married young, had children pretty early, and now are in their early 50s. Recently, their youngest child just left for college, so now it is just the two of them at home. They don't really know what to do with all of their time; before, they were always watching their children's ball games, going shopping with them, or just having others at the dinner table to help liven up the conversation.
They aren't really having a problem with anything in their marriage life, but they don't have really anything to talk about. They have never had this much time alone, and don't know what to do with the next thirty years of their life together.
If this has happened to you, what did you and your partner do that helped? Can you imagine this happening to you? What should Sally and Marty do to solve this?
One thing that can help couples in their marriage when they are having problems that are related to health and aging is to study their past. If you've watched your parents and other friends and seen how they dealt with aging, you might be able to get clues to how you will age. We all form our beliefs off of our observations that we make from the time we are young to the present day. Our beliefs can change over time, but usually we have a lot of the beliefs that our parents gave to us (either from mimicking them or from doing the exact opposite of what they did). I outline all of the different types of Marriage Blueprints that couples can have; find out which one you belong to.
Wild Things can sometimes have a problem with aging and health problems, because they are so active in their life; when they get older, they are often frustrated when life starts slowing down on them. Wild Things live life while they can, and can't wait to tell their grandchildren stories of how they did some wild things.
If you are a Blissmate, you are a lot like Wild Things, in that you want to have a lot of new experiences, but at the same time, you want to experience these things with your spouse. When one of you has to take a break at a certain activity for whatever reason, it usually sidelines the other member of the couple.
Pilgrims are really interested in something in their life, and usually put all of their passion and life into this one topic. Health and aging problems can be really frustrating for this group of people, but at the same time, Pilgrims usually get closer to their goals with age.
Like Sally and Marty, the Big Heart Family followers usually get empty nest syndrome. Family is the most important thing to these people, and when everyone moves out of the house, they are really depressed and don't know what to do with their lives.
Pioneers, who are duty bound, want to make sure that they fulfill their duty. If their partner is ill, they will want to take care of them, because of this duty. What in interesting about pioneers is that they often have a cause that they tend to serve, but they are very loyal and will drop everything for their partner.
Visionary families are also very oriented on a goal, and want to share this vision with their spouses. Visionaries often want to go to new places to further their vision, and are often very disappointed if they don't get to fulfill their dreams due to aging or health issues.
The Golden Rule Family of marriage blueprints considers fairness and equality to be number one. When they are young, the golden rulers believe that old people should be respected, and when they age, they expect to be treated well themselves.
The eighth of the Marriage Blueprints is the Royal Family. This blueprint is one that makes social status really important; with age, social status grows and then declines when you are too old to keep up your social status by getting your face out there. Aging is really hard for the Royal Family because their whole life is based on how people perceive them.
What Marriage Blueprint are you and your spouse? Do you think that the way that you view your health and aging is in synch with the way that your Marriage Blueprint does? What tips and hints do you have for getting older that have helped your marriage? What is the most difficult thing about aging, and what scares you the most?
For a Free, Confidential, Personalized Great Relationship Love Quiz a(retail value: $49.95) go to Relationship Quiz at http://www.AskDoctorMax.com Find out what your Marriage Blueprints(TM) are.
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Monday, March 17, 2008
Emotional Triggers in Relationships
Emotional Triggers in Relationships
Most of the anxiety and frustration that exists in relationships can be avoided. The key is to be aware of the emotional triggers that each and every one of us possesses. Unfortunately, the majority of people will wait until these triggers have had their strongest impact and, not knowing how to deal with them, find themselves either fighting with their significant other - or just running away.
It doesn't have to be this way. Once you learn to recognize the emotional triggers that have the potential to set you or (or the other person), you've already got an advantage. The key here is recognize them for what they are and not give them the unnecessary power that too many people do. Everyone has these "buttons" and, quite frankly, if other people know what yours are, you could be very susceptible to manipulation. Perhaps you already have experienced a hint of this?
This is a whole study in itself - and it's worth learning about. If you want to get a thorough understanding of this, then by all means pursue it... the best resource you'll find on the web is located at:
http://tell-me-about-it.com/etonline.html
That course (don't be intimidated by the word "course" - it's easy stuff to follow) will definitely set you in the right direction. You'll not only find yourself in command of your relationships that have to do with love - but all your relationships will benefit, including those that have to do with family, friends, and co-workers, too!
This course was referred to by the Wall Street Journal and has been highly recommended by so many people.
Onward to healthier relationships!
Emotional Triggers: Stop Pushing My Buttons!
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Our Emotional Triggers
Our Emotional Triggers
'Anger', the pronunciation of this word conjures up fearful and unpleasant images in our mind; an emotion which we generally associate with senses of abuse, hurt, violence and destruction. The symptoms of anger are not just to be found in our emotions, but also in our bodies, mind and behavior as well.
Now, the exact nature of an individual's response to the hurts and frustrations of their lives varies from person to person. There are three basic things which can affect to an outburst of our anger. They are:
1.Threat, hurt, violence and frustration and their extent.
2.Damage or frustration and there causes.
3.The likelihood of the trigger to anger: for example, a British may react phlegmatically to a late train, than the people who live in countries where trains are invariably late.
Effects:
Let us take a quick glance of what bodily changes take place, when the emotion of anger arouses us physically:
1.Respiration deepens.
2.The heart beats more rapidly.
3.Blood pressure rises.
4.The pupils dilate.
5.The digestive processes are suspended.
6.The glucose is freed from the reserves in our liver.
7.The spleen contracts and discharges its content of concentrated corpuscles.
8.Cortisol production is increased in order to depress the immune system.
Thus, a state of anger very obviously, raises our blood pressure and exerts an unnatural strain on our body and the internal organs. Research done over the last 20 years show that serious damage definitely occurs if we allow ourselves to be hyper, and keep our bodies working at emergency levels for long period. Moreover suppressed and sustained anger can damage our health seriously. From research evidences till date, it has been proved that sustaining psychological state of anger can:
1.Cause digestive disorders such as ulcers and gastritis.
2.Create hypertension.
3.Raise cholesterol levels.
4.Damage and block arteries.
5.Aggravate heart disease.
6.Intensify pain.
7.Exacerbate bowel conditions such as colitis.
8.Create headaches.
9.Contribute to inflammatory disorders of muscles.
10.Hinder our recovery from major traumas.
11.Cause serious illness such as cancer and aids.
It is very commonly heard that people generally blame their physical health and its condition for the outburst of the emotions. But this should be stopped. Blaming our bodies for the outburst of our anger must be stopped genuinely. Health conditions only assist us in managing our emotions. Our bodies merely act as vessels for containing and as vehicles for expressing our emotions at various stages of life - and we, as civilized and literate human beings can very well let our head rule over our body and emotions.
Abhishek is the owner of MysticBoard.com.
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Friday, March 07, 2008
How to Mend Fast From a Broken Past Relationship - Part Two
How to Mend Fast From a Broken Past Relationship - Part Two
In the previous issue as promised, this segment will give you a short-cut, precise, and valuable "12 Step Relationship Recovery Guideline" that will help you look into removing any "hidden" unhealthy relationship toxic buildup that may be unconsciously blocking your blessings.
There is a remarkable Biblical principle, "Ask and it shall be given." But this is not meant to be interpreted just literally. It also implies that you make a psychological and spiritual appeal. In other words, it's not solely the words that come out of your mouth, but also about your frame of mind and behavioral pattern-your thoughts, your feelings, beliefs, and actions.
People may say they want one thing, yet subconsciously their actions and personalities say something completely different. For example, a woman may have gone through a series of harsh and unkind experiences with men in the past and verbally affirms that she wants an ideal mate in the present. Yet, if in fact she has not taken time to cleanse and heal from her old memories and habits, she may, consciously or unconsciously, attract the same type of unworthy men into her life. Or, on the other hand, if a decent man steps into her life, she may not be able to bond with him in a healthy manner because past emotions will keep resurfacing and interfering with their relationship.
However, if she takes the time to first prepare herself mentally and emotionally, she will "ask" for and shall certainly "receive" the healthy love she seeks, and never have to worry about ever being abandoned or deceived again. Here is the "12-Stage Relationship-Recovery Guideline" which you can use as a sliding scale to determine where you are, where you'd like to be, and how soon you'd like to get there:
The 12-Stage Relationship-Recovery Guideline
1. Recognizing that the unhealthy relationship is no good for you
2. Conditioning yourself to get out of it
3. Taking the steps and actually walking out of it
4. Coping with the emotional roller-coaster one day at a time
5. Getting to know yourself (finding out who you are and exactly what you want)
6. Restoring and re-creating yourself (taking back the pieces of your spirit)
7. Empowering and enjoying the new you
8. Wanting and praying for a healthy-minded, compatible mate
9. Meeting and checking him out (letting him into the perimeter of your life)
10. Opening to the possibilities of a new, healthy relationship as you get to know him
11. Removing your self-protective coating as you grow to trust and respect him
12. Enjoying a healthy love match as you grow to love each other
The goal here is to help you heal from the past, so that you will be able to ask for, believe in, receive, and accept the wholesome relationship and marriage you deserve by thoroughly examining and removing the hidden, as well as the readily apparent emotional hindrances that may be barricading your healthy love.
The simple truth is, we do an excellent job of putting on a front before the world. It began from we took that first step onto the threshold of social awareness, where we were conditioned to believe, "Don't let anybody in your business, or have anything over you, and never let a man see who you really are."
This practice has built barricades around the hearts of countless women, resulting in years of celibacy, casual dating, or shallow relationships. And when we experience disappointment from unhealthy relationships, we retreat even further within to an untouchable place in an attempt to bury pain, anger or anguish, which often leads to despondency, depression, and frustration.
How To Close The Old Door, So You Can Start to Restore
Countless women are walking around secretly tucked inside their invisible armor. On the outside, you may seem okay, but no one sees you when you're home alone at nights, crying yourself to sleep because of loneliness and feelings of abandonment. The emotional armor successfully keeps others from getting in, but it also keeps you from getting out. Too many women are prisoners within their own body temples.
And it's confusing. It's confusing because armor is a woman's way of defending herself, yet on the other hand her self-protective wall is holding her captive. Many women have already given up on love; thousands secretly yearn for it; others desperately hope for it; and many are afraid to claim it. This is primarily because they don't know how to trust again, and they haven't been shown how to remove the personal emotional armor. The sacred truth is, the healthy love we crave must first be created within us.
You've got to learn how to let go and let the love of God flow in and through you. Replace your personal armor with the protection of God's love. Ephesians 6:13 in the Bible tell us, "Take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able stand firm [withstand any test in life or love]."
Here's a useful exercise to help you dissolve any personal armor:
EXERCISE: Clearing Out The Emotional Baggage
1. What was your most disappointing relationship in the past?
2. Who has caused you pain (or vice versa)? What happened?
3. How did it make you feel during that time? Why?
4. What did you want to happen in the relationship? What would you have changed?
5. Write a letter to the person (or persons) involved, and tell them every detail of how you were
affected (don't hold back; this is a chance to release your feelings on paper).
6. Looking back now, would you have ended the relationship earlier? If so, when and why? If no, why not?
7. How does it affect your life right now? How do you feel at this moment as you are writing?
8. Adopt this affirmation: "I (your name), am valuable. I deserve healthy friendships, the right relationship, a healthy body, and a great life. I will no longer be deprived of my blessings."
9. Now, tear the letter into tiny bits, and as you tear, affirm, "I now release all painful memories from my mind, my body, my heart, my soul. My life and my spirit are now renewed. I hold no hard feelings, and I feel no more sorrow. I am now free, and something good is about to happen to me!"
10. Repeat Steps 1-9 for each unhealthy relationship you can recall.
Now, that you have completed the second phase of this powerful emotional cleansing series, in the following part, you will conclude with a powerful and fast method to "re-define your life without any unhealthy strife." It's time for a spiritually-empowered and an emotionally-happy you!
Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone, on-air psychologist for the former Queen Latifah TV show, is one of America's foremost relationship consultants. An award-winning, bestselling author of ten books, she is the popular relationship columnist for the London-based Pride magazine. For Dr. Grace's relationship books and CDs visit www.myhealthylove.com
How to Mend Fast From a Broken Past Relationship - Part One
I still remember the pain of being divorced. For me, I was a dutiful wife. Exactly what I was raised to be. Unfortunately, we moved to the city and my husband found more exciting 'fish in the sea.' I felt betrayed, angry, and was horrified by the fact that the government was willing to let him walk away, leaving me at the mercy of lawyers.
I never received alimony or the child support I should have - because my friends were telling me that it was better to take what I could get, instead of getting what you were owed and having the lawyer garnish it for 10 years to recoup their fees.
All together, this left me Broken from my Broken relationship.
How to Mend Fast From a Broken Past Relationship - Part One
This three-part series will show you how to be free of the past so you can love with a new outlook and place a high value on your personal self-worth.
Detrimental romances have left too many women with broken promises, broken spirits, and broken hearts. I encourage you to realize right now that you don't ever have to settle for any unhealthy relationship in which you are the Band-Aid to cover up your mate's wound while neglecting your own emotional scars. Instead, be aware that a healthy relationship is a balanced love in which both partners can be the healing balm to each other when needed.
Do you know what's extremely disheartening and defeating at the same time? Due to the Band-Aid type of bonding, when a woman discovers that a man is no good for her (or even dangerous), she stifles her own feelings and still remains in the unhealthy relationship, or she goes back to him even after she had left him.
These women know that those particular men are emotionally unhealthy mates, and many have specifically told me so either in person at my national relationship seminars, or in the hundreds of emails and letters I receive each month.
Let's look at these two examples:
One woman, the president of a well-know national women's beauty pageant group, told me between heart-wrenching sobs that she was in "emotional bondage" to her disrespectful lover, who not only openly cheated on her each month with a number of her co-workers and casual acquaintances, but also made her abort the baby she had been carrying for him.
Another woman, Vicki (not her real name), a professional telemarketer, found out her live-in lover of two years was an undercover drug dealer who had been hiding his drugs and guns in her apartment. Seven months later, she threw him out. But here's the kicker, she didn't evict him because of his illegal and corrupt dealings; she threw him and his clothes out because his "other woman" came to her house to confront her. She took back her keys and changed the locks, but less than three months later, she changed her mind and took him back.
A year after bringing him into her home again, she admitted, "I feel like my life is caving in on me. I know he's not a good influence for my teenage son, but I can't get him out of my system.
You Must Be Bold to Break the Stronghold
After examining Vicki's case along with several others, I found that in each situation the woman separated from the man physically but not emotionally. In a sense, she was locked into an emotional stronghold. She had not released him from her soul. She shared an indefinable bond with him and that's why she gravitated back to him. And until she released him from her complete self-mind, body, and spirit-she continued to fluctuate emotionally.
It was hard for Vicki at first. But, with time and proper coaching, she finally turned her back on her unsuitable boyfriend for good. I also effectively helped the beauty pageant president in the former example to break the chains of "emotional bondage" with the dysfunctional lover through a twofold method that I will share with you here.
First, I brought to the attention of both women ten specific preprogrammed beliefs that promote fear and keep women in turbulent relationships with wrongly selected mates:
10 Misconceptions That Cause Emotional Deception
1) "There aren't any good men left. I might as well stick with the evil I know."
2) "No one else is going to want me."
3) "So what if he cheated; all men do. 10% of something is better than 100% of nothing."
4) "I can't make it on my own."
5) "If I was doing what I was supposed to, he would not have done it."
6) "What will everyone think?"
7) "As long as he takes care of the bills, I better keep my mouth shut."
8) "My children need a father figure around."
9) "He says he loves me and didn't mean to do it."
10) "I want to leave, but the sex is good."
Second, I provided a useful and effective technique to help them break the negative emotional ties. This method is very important because it helps you explore and discover exactly how someone else may be in control of how you feel about yourself. It will be much easier to disconnect from an emotionally disruptive relationship once you get a clear picture on paper of how much negative power he has over you self-value system.
EXERCISE: Getting the Unhealthy Suitor Out of My System
Set some private time aside to take this seven-point quiz. Don't just answer a quick yes or no then jump to the next question. Spend at least ten minutes on each to work through the deep feelings and beliefs that will be attached to each of your answers:
1) Does he make me feel good about myself? Why, or why not?
2) Do I feel safe with him? Why, or why not?
3) Does he protect me from feeling embarrassed or unfulfilled? Why, or why not?
4) Can I trust him to be faithful? Why, or why not?
5) Do I feel attractive and appreciated when I'm around him? Why, or why not?
6) Do I think he's a kind, caring, and honest person? Why, or why not?
7) Would he be a good role model for children? Why, or why not?
Conclusion: If you've answered no more that you've answered yes, you don't have to second guess. It's time to cut the emotional string with this dysfunctional and unhealthy fling!
In the second part of this series, I will give you a short-cut, precise and valuable 12-Stage Relationship Recovery Guide. We will also look at how to empty relationship baggage by clearing out any "hidden" toxic emotional build-up that may be unconsciously blocking your blessings. Remember always: you deserve the very best!
Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone, on-air psychologist for the former Queen Latifah TV show, is one of America's foremost relationship consultants. An award-winning, bestselling author of ten books, she is the popular relationship columnist for the London-based Pride magazine. For Dr. Grace's relationship books and CDs visit www.myhealthylove.com
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More on Shoes
I love shoes, but I broke my toe a few years. I still love shoes but I buy them from different places. I also need one pair that is easy to walk on without putting pressure on the foot that doesn't balance.
There are some places I can get inserts for my shoes.
OurHealthNetwork.com's has an exclusive line of styles of custom-made orthotic sandals and inserts that provide relief to people who suffer from foot pain. An inserts caters to custoemer's lifestyles and shoe styles. I don't think it will let me wear my granny boots again, but it does let me wear some of my expensive shoes again.
Custom shoe inserts designed by OurHealthNetwork.com (http://www.OurHealthNetwork.com) treat problems like runner's knee, shin splints, plantar fasciitis, heel spurs, ball of foot pain, heel pain, and common medical conditions. Today's are now made to fit worn in open-toe sandals and clogs.
Press Release:
Unique Line of Custom-Made Orthotics (Shoe Inserts) for Sandals and Clogs Cater to Style-Minded Foot Pain Sufferers
Since 1999, OurHealthNetwork.com (http://www.OurHealthNetwork.com) has been the Internet's leading provider of custom-made foot orthotics (custom shoe inserts). The company’s team of board-certified podiatrists now introduces an exclusive line of more than two dozen different styles of custom orthotics that not only provide relief to those who suffer from foot pain, but also cater to their lifestyles and shoe styles. Now for the first time, OurHealthNetwork.com’s custom-made orthotics can be worn in open-toe sandals and clogs.
Traditionally custom-made orthotics are designed for shoes, and cannot be worn in sandals or clogs because they slide out. OurHealthNetwork.com’s unique process embeds a pair of orthotics directly inside a customer’s sandals or clogs. “Our customers can now enjoy the great ‘freedom-from-shoes feeling’ they get from sandals and clogs, while still benefiting from true custom-made orthotic therapy,” said Dr. Paul R. Kasdan, OurHealthNetwork.com's medical director.
Customers may choose to send their own sandals to OurHealthNetwork.com to be rebuilt with orthotic footbeds, or they can purchase both sandals and custom made orthotics from the company.
“What is unique about our orthotic line this year is our specialized customization and refurbishing process,” Dr. Kasdan explains. “Our process allows customers who have sandals they love to send them to us, and we'll seamlessly rebuild them with a custom-made orthotic footbed inside each sandal.” Because of this, customers are not limited to the selection of sandals that OurHealthNetwork.com stocks.
However the company does stock sandals made by Bite, a leading manufacturer of sports sandals that accommodate custom-made orthotics. Bite’s lightweight, durable sports sandals ensure comfort, support, and excellent shock-absorption. “The combination of Bite sandals and our doctor-designed custom-made sandal orthotics can’t be beat for an exceptionally comfortable walking experience at a very affordable price,” Dr. Kasdan said.
Having custom orthotic sandals made has never been so simple. The process begins when customers order a foam impression kit from OurHealthNetwork.com's secure Web site. The kit allows customers to make accurate molds of their feet – easily and cleanly – in a matter of minutes from the comfort of their own homes. The kit also includes a self-examination form that asks customers questions about their conditions, the pain they have, and the kinds of activities in which they normally participate.
A board-certified podiatrist reviews each kit and examination form returned. Within days, custom-made orthotic sandals – designed for each customer’s unique requirements, to relieve each customer’s unique foot problems – are made under the supervision of a foot doctor and rushed back to the customer.
To learn more about how runner's knee, shin splints, plantar fasciitis, heel spurs, heel pain, and other common medical conditions can be easily and conveniently treated from the comfort of one's own home with custom-made orthotics and orthotic sandals, visit http://www.OurHealthNetwork.com/CustomOrthotics/Orthoses_Sandals.asp
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Frequent Sex and Good Health
Sex has anti aging properties. It is something that many people enjoy - and others just 'don't get it.' Sex is intimate. It should be a shared experience between two people. Unfortunately, many people over 40 have warped ideas of what sex is, or should be. To make matters worse, they are afraid to explore their sexuality. There is nothing taboo with sex - it is something personal and intimate to be shared between two people in love.
Frequent Sex and Good Health
Individuals engaged in active lifestyles like exercising, eating right foods, and taking vitamins should also involve frequent sex in their health regimen. While the degree of sexual activity in one's health is not a principal topic of research, many studies suggest that safe sex can do wonders for one's overall health. Safe sex practiced in a loving, intimate relationship has numerous health benefits like improved cholesterol levels and increased blood circulation. It also encourages the flow of testosterone, a hormone that plays an important role in the immune system.
Sexual intercourse burns about 200 calories, the same number of calories can be achieved by spending 15 minutes in a treadmill. In addition, sex encourages the production of endorphins, the body natural painkiller. These substances, enables a state of bliss and frees people from stress and anxiety. These factors can lead to feelings of happiness, greater health and may slowdown the aging process. An active sex life may lead to improved health and enable people to live longer and happier lives.
For Him
A medical study published by Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), found out that frequent ejaculation resulting from sexual activity may help protect the prostate from cancer. This finding supports a smaller study in Australia from 2003 that found out that men in 20's who ejaculated more than five times a week were less likely to developing prostate cancer than their counterparts who ejaculated four to seven times a month. Specialists add that ejaculating regularly might lower the risk of cancer because cancer-causing substances are flushed out of the body in the seminal fluid instead of being trapped in the prostate. In addition, researchers in Queens University concluded that by having sex three or more times a week, men may cut heart attack or stroke rates by almost half. However, having sex with multiple partners may raise a man's risk of prostate cancer to up to 40% because his the risk of contracting sexual infection increases.
For Her
Sexual activity may also help prevent endometriosis, a common gynecological condition that affects about 89 million women around the world. This condition occurs when the tissue lining inside a woman's uterus grown in other places like the ovaries or the fallopian tube. This growth can cause pelvic pain and may lead to infertility. A study by the journal of Gynecologic and Obstetric Investigation, concluded that women who were sexually active during their menstruation were 15 times less likely to develop endometriosis than women who abstained from sex during periods. The contractions of the uterus during orgasm may help flush away menstrual debris out of the uterus. Sexual activity among women also prompts the production of estrogen which can act as a painkiller and reduce the pain of Pre Menstrual Syndrome (PMS).
Sexual intercourse is not just the insertion of a man's erect penis into a woman's vagina. It is a process of physical intimacy that strengthens the bond among lovers. Understanding safe sex and sex within marriage may lead to improved health and fruitful marriages.
francis arbes
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Friday, February 29, 2008
SeDona Method to Emotional Wellness
Empowerment is the key. Not everyone can manage the cost of a ife coach, that is why I often encourage them to take a look at other options. There are several methods of self enlightnement that include ego awareness, and presence awareness.
Is The Sedona Method a Tool for Spiritual Enlightenment?
The Sedona Method is a simple, technique that shows people how to uncover their natural ability to let go. It shows them how to abandon the tendencies that cause people to flee from freedom (emotional health) as opposed to embracing it.
The Sedona Method shows you how to Transcend the ego
The Sedona Method helps people lessen the power of the “ego” and “pain body,” which refers to the thoughts and emotions generated by subconscious programming. It is all those negative things that you believe to be right, but which ruin your life. Unfortunately for many people, their negative beliefs are only 'right' in their mind. Or, to put it another way - you are only fooling yourself.
I receive no royalties if you purchase this product.
Three Kinds of Depression
I guess everyone focuses on depression as the winter months stretch on, dark and dreary. I enjoy life. It is fun. I celebrate it every chance I get. I feel bad when I see someone who is depressed, trapped in sadness. I hope they will find relief.
Three Kinds of Depression
The concept of depression is broad and encompasses a number of different phenomena. The term is used in the vernacular to refer to a simple "blue" mood. In a medical sense it can label anything from a long-lingering feeling of hollowness to a critical situation ending in a suicide.
The simple "down mood" or "bad hair day" really isn't depression at all. It's merely the experience of normal human emotions in response to external and internal factors. Every case of being sad or lonely is not an example of depression. Low feelings are normal and even healthy. Depression refers to more severe cases where those negative feelings take hold and have a more serious or lasting influence on one's well-being or ability to function.
There are three types of depression, all of which share that similarity. One is known as dysthymia. Dysthymia is a chronic, low-grade depression that lasts over a long period of time. This type of depression is "sneaky" and may not be spotted easily. Its long-lasting nature allows one to "adjust" to its symptoms somewhat, making a depressed mood seem like the normal every day nature of things.
Dysthymia sufferers have the overall quality of their lives undermined by depression, often without realizing it. They may think they are simply dour people or that life is inevitably something less than enjoyable.
Those with dysthymia are able to function with a high degree of normalcy, but are constantly nagged by feelings of sadness, despair, loneliness and related emotions.
Situational depression can have more severe symptoms. This is the form of depression that rears its head in direct response to external circumstances. Any number of traumas or trying events can trigger a bout of situational depression. The death of a loved one, or the loss of a job, for instance, may produce intense and temporarily debilitating depressive symptoms.
The key to differentiating situation depression from its clinical counterpart is the temporary nature of the symptomology and the fact that it can often be traced back to a specific cause. One should note that traumatic events can also herald the onset of clinical depression, however.
Those suffering from situational depression may find life very difficult for a period of time. They may feel agitated or nervous, have disruptions in sleeping habits, or experience other common depressive symptoms. However, the problem usually passes as the individual learns to cope with the problems that triggered the episode.
Clinical depression is more severe. If one experiences symptoms that interfere with regular functioning for a period longer than two weeks in length, they may be suffering from clinical depression. Clinical depression can last indefinitely and can be quite devastating.
The hallmark of clinical depression is the inability to enjoy almost any aspect of life. In some cases, the sufferer may even begin to consider suicide as an alternative to continuing on in their depressed state. Symptoms can run the gamut from a vague sense of unease to utter and complete hopelessness.
Interventions are usually required for one to overcome clinical depression. These can involve the use of psychotherapy, prescription antidepressants and other strategies aimed at solving the problem. Those who do not seek treatment for this condition may find the problem literally fatal in the long run. Fortunately, these methods can often be successful in helping one overcome the dreaded symptoms of clinical depression.
Depression is a growing problem, and as the epidemic continues to grow, it only makes sense for all of us to gain a better understanding of the disease. The World Health Organization posits that by the year 2020 depression will be second most devastating disease facing humanity, second only to heart disease in its impact. Depression touches the lives of most everyone and all of us should develop a stronger appreciation of what separates depression from simply having a "lousy week."
Although the term "depression" may encompass many things in popular use, in a strict sense it refers to one of the three variations mentioned in this article. Dysthymia, situational depression and clinical depression represent the three primary types of depression. They share a great deal in common, but can be differentiated from one another by the severity of their symptoms and their longevity.
john savage is a former health education official and has taken a keen interest in health matters. Click Here to visit his blog which shows a way to conquer depression, stress and anxiety.
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10 Happy Foods: Fight Depression & Fatigue Naturally!
I've found that some types of depression are directly related to the types of food we eat.
10 Happy Foods: Fight Depression & Fatigue Naturally!
Diet can have a profound effect on physical and mental health, and certain foods have been shown to combat depression and even mental illness. Good nutrition also eases stress and improves sleeping patterns. First, check with your doctor, then try the “depression fighting” diet for a month, and see if it improves your mood!
Top 10 foods for happiness and well-being:
1. Omega 3 fatty acids are compounds are found in tuna, salmon, walnuts, and canola oil. They can also be purchased in supplement form. Multiple clinical studies have shown Omega 3 fights depression. Omega 3 fats can even help combat more severe mental illnesses, such as bi-polar disorder. A landmark study by Harvard University showed that bi-polar patients receiving high doses of Omega 3 oils stayed in remission longer, and were able to combat depression better. A new study by the Mental Health Foundation shows that fish oils “significantly improve” the behavior of children suffering from ADHD, or attention deficit disorder. And, since these oils are naturally occurring in foods, they are safe for most people to take.
2. Zinc is essential for metabolism and digestion. It plays an important role in immune system function, and helps fight weakness and fatigue. Zinc deficiencies often result in loss of appetite and irritability. Zinc-rich foods are: wheat germ, pumpkin seeds, whole grain wheat bran, and high protein foods.
3. Vitamin B-3 (niacin) is essential for energy conversion in the body. Even mild deficiencies can cause depression, irritability, canker sores, and indigestion. If you regularly get canker sores in your mouth and lips, it may be a sign of B-3 deficiency. Excessive alcohol consumption causes vitamin B-3 deficiencies. Natural sources of this vitamin are beets, pork, chicken, dried beans and oily fish (such as mackerel or salmon).
4. Water is absolutely essential for combating depression and fighting fatigue. Water helps improve mood, motor function, mind power, skin problems, and a host of other maladies. Always drink at least 40 ounces of water a day. If you drink soda or coffee, it is good to increase your water intake, since caffeine acts as a diuretic, pulling water from the body. The benefits are enormous, and the cost is minimal. Drink more water!
5. Vitamin E occurs naturally in wheat germ, nuts, seeds, and some fruits and vegetables. Vitamin E is a potent anti-oxidant and immune booster. It has been shown to strengthen red blood cells and fight viral infection. It is a good supplement for people with chronic fatigue and depression.
6. Calcium can help combat stress and anxiety. Studies have shown that calcium can help combat post-partum depression. Calcium-deficient people regularly complain of difficulty sleeping and cramps. Calcium has the added benefit of being a natural sleep-aid. It is present in milk, cheese, and most dairy products. Other non-dairy sources include broccoli, tofu and fortified orange juice.
7. Folic Acid is found in leafy greens, beans and peanuts, orange juice, wheat germ, and many fortified cereals. Researchers know that low levels of folic acid are directly linked to depression. A University of Toronto study showed that patients with higher levels of folic acid in their systems fought depression faster and more successfully than those without it.
8. Stevia is a natural sweetener made from a leafy green plant. Stevia has been used for centuries as a natural sweetener in Asia, and many diet sodas in Asia are made with Stevia. Although the sugar and artificial sweetener industry has fought stevia’s addition to foods in the United States, it is still freely available in powder and leafy form for consumers to purchase. Stevia is all-natural, non-caloric, and does not have the same side-effects as refined sugar and other artificial sweeteners.
9. Vitamin C is a natural immune-system booster. Depressed people often have suppressed immune systems, and vitamin C rich foods and supplements can help boost your natural immune response. People with vitamin C deficiencies often show signs of depression and stress. Vitamin C is readily available in all citrus fruits, and a variety of inexpensive supplements.
10. Iron deficiency causes fatigue, low energy, and anemia, especially in women. Always check with your doctor before taking an iron supplement. However, there are many natural sources of iron that are easily added to one’s diet without any side-effects of a supplement. Good sources of iron include liver, beef, beans, peas, and nuts. It is easier for your body to assimilate iron from meat rather than vegetable sources. If you are a vegetarian, you can improve your iron assimilation by adding vitamin C to your diet.
Other Possible Causes of Fatigue
Food allergies can also cause a host of problems, including depression and weakness. Sometimes, these allergies are mild, and simply cause stomach upset or mood swings. A close friend of mine just recently discovered that chocolate (cacao) was the trigger for her PMS and horrible migraines. After 46 years, she is finally PMS and migraine-free after giving up chocolate completely. Common food allergies include chocolate, wheat, dairy, and soy.
Avoid Caffeine. One cup of tea or coffee per day is acceptable, but anything more than can cause problems with mood swings, depression, and fatigue. Black tea generally has less caffeine than coffee. If you would like to reduce your caffeine intake, consider switching to tea instead.
Reduce or eliminate your refined sugar intake. It may seem difficult at first, but train yourself to eat something else when you crave refined sugar. Delicious sweet strawberries, blueberries, or sliced oranges can ease your sweet tooth and help keep you on track. Avoid sugary foods and cereals, especially in the morning, when your blood sugar can spike dramatically. Instead, opt for a protein-rich breakfast, with eggs, milk, and sausage or lean meats and a piece of fruit, such as a banana. This type of breakfast helps prevent food cravings and mood swings later on in the day.
Hormone therapy and oral contraceptives can interfere with the absorption of B vitamins. Women that take an estrogen supplement may want to add a B supplement to their diet in order to combat this interference. Ask your doctor if a B supplement is okay.
Finally, if you are one of the many people that gulps down a cup of coffee in the morning and then realizes you are starving at noon, you are doing your body a great disservice every day. Even if you have to force yourself, eat three meals a day, and always start with a good, protein-rich breakfast. If your doctor approves, add some good vitamin supplements to your diet, and drink lots of water. You’ll feel better almost immediately, and you may even lose cravings for unhealthy foods. Take the first step towards better health and a happier life!
Sources
“Food Ingredients May be as Effective as Antidepressants: Researchers Discover ‘Mood Foods' Relieve Signs of Depression.” Harvard University Online. May 2006.
Lark MD, Susan M. “Vitamins, Minerals, and Herbs for Chronic Fatigue” (Excerpted from The Menopause Self Help Book, Celestial Arts). 1990
“Vitamin B3 (Niacin).” University of Maryland Medical Center Alternative Medicine. April 2002.
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Thursday, February 28, 2008
Depression-Home Remedies
I prefer herbs and aromatherapy. They helped me survive depression and anxiety after my husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore. I went from a rural home, to marriage. Within six months of my husband moving us to the city, he left. I was in a strange place. In a situation I was not prepared to cope with. This caused anxiety problems I wasn't prepared for.
Depression-Home Remedies
Just as with anxiety, depression can be due to several reasons, and its symptoms may be quite varied. Conditions like constipation, headaches, insomnia and loss of appetite can all relate to depression and in deep or continuing instances of depression professional help is essential. This is especially so when there is no obvious reason for the feelings, a condition generally labelled endogenous depression.
Aromatherapy
Many oils have quite profound effects on mood, and it may be necessary to change the oil used as symptoms vary. The benefits of aromatherapy massage using diluted essential oils, with the caring effect of the direct contact, are the most useful way of treating someone with depression, but oils can also be very helpful in the bath.
Bergamot: This is one of the most uplifting of oils, with a refreshing citrus fragrance which is appealing to both men and women and gives Earl Grey tea its distinctive aroma.
Clary Sage: This is quite relaxing, but with an uplifting, almost euphoric effect as well; good when chronic tension has led to depression or exhaustion.
Geranium: This oil actually comes from varieties of scented pelargonium, and has a tonic effect on the adrenal cortex, which helps to regulate stress hormone production.
Neroli: This oil, from the blossom of the bitter orange, is very concentrated (and also expensive!) so a little can go a long way. It relaxes and soothes, relieving muscle spasm and the irritability which often goes with a depressed state.
Herbalism
The traditional approach to depression included looking at all the body systems, in particular liver function, and often bitter herbs were prescribed to stimulate digestion and act as a tonic; a few drops of a tincture of a herb such as Gentian(Gentiana lutea) may do the trick in mild cases of depressed spirits. The herbs can be taken as a tea, or for a stronger effect take as an infusion.
Borage(Borago officinalis): An adrenal stimulant and general tonic, best taken as a tea and for short periods only.
Oatstraw (Avena sativa): An all-round nervous restorative; either use 20 drops of the tincture twice daily, or simply add plenty of oats to the diet, for example, in cereals.
Rosemary(Rosmarinus officinalis): Excellent where nervous exhaustion leads to depression, also good for headaches and sluggish digestion.
Vervain(Verbena officinalis): A relaxing tonic, very useful for the depression of convalescence from an illness, when everything seems a struggle.
Homeopathy
In the short term, look at these remedies.
Aurum metallicum: For deep depression and almost suicidal feelings, perhaps following failure in exams or at work.
Ignatia: This is especially appropriate for depression following a shock or grief, with pent-up, almost hysterical feelings and a lump in the throat.
Kali phos: For nervous exhaustion, leaving a lack of mental or physical energy.
Pulsatilla: Generally most useful for mild, gentle people who are prone to weepiness, with a rapid change of mood to feeling miserable- this is often a good remedy for children, but seek medical advice first!
Naturopathy
One of the first things to do is overhaul the diet, to make sure there is enough nourishment for the nervous system. Reduce coffee, tea, sugar and alcohol intake. Take plenty of wholefoods, possibly increasing protein intake, if the diet has been poor.
Taking more exercise is a positive move, helping to improve circulation, muscle tone and increase oxygen intake. The main difficulty of course is motivation, so support from an exercise class may be more successful than doing it alone.
Supplement the diet with a good general multi-mineral and vitamin supplement to give a wide spectrum of nutrients.
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Lifestyle and Wellness
Living with Anxiety and Depression
I've known a lot of people who suffer from anxiety and depression. There are many forms that can be healed through simple counceling and learning to let go of things that once haunted us. In many cases, it is caused by lack of problem solving skills. Once people learn how to handle money better, solve problems, deal with their emotions, and be honest with who them are, the problem clears up - In many cases.
Living with Anxiety and Depression
Anxiety and depression are both very serious mental illnesses all on their own. Unfortunately, they can also go hand-in-hand, making everyday life very difficult for the person who is suffering. Fortunately, if the conditions are recognized and proper help is obtained, they can be overcome successfully.
Due to the nature of both anxiety and depression, understanding the signs and symptoms of the two conditions is vital for helping a person regain control of life. While one condition doesn't necessarily cause the other, it is not at all uncommon to see them manifest together. Considering the potential ramifications of both anxiety and depression, early diagnosis and proper treatment is almost always advisable.
Anxiety's Telltale Signs
Anxiety can present itself in a number of different ways. From very particular phobias to generalized anxiety about everyday living, the actual triggers might vary. Some of the symptoms that tend to go across the board, however, include:
- Signs of a heart attack. Things like racing heartbeats, palpitations and even chest pains and discomfort can go along with anxiety. People often think they are having an actual heart attack.
- Stomach discomforts
- Sweating
- Trouble sleeping
- Irritability
- Impending sense of fear, doom or even worry about imminent death
If anxiety is particularly severe, a person might experience a full-blown panic attack. These episodes are incredibly frightening to the person suffering from them. Inasmuch, many people who suffer from anxiety try to safeguard themselves from the things they see as triggers. Whether this is social situations, heights, public speaking or even being separated from family or leaving the house, the end result is the generally the same - some form of isolation. This tends to be where anxiety and depression can intersect.
Depression's Signs
Everyone feels blue from time to time, but real depression is a like a black cloud that smothers. The symptoms of this condition, if left unchecked, can lead to suicidal thoughts and even actions. Keeping an eye out for them is imperative when other mental illnesses, such as anxiety, are present. They are:
- Feelings of guilt, hopelessness
- Thoughts of suicide or death
- Changes in eating habits
- A desire to isolate oneself
- Lack of interest in normal activities
- A feeling of sadness that persists for several weeks or longer
Anxiety and depression are both very real, very serious illnesses. Fortunately, both can be treated rather effectively if their signs and symptoms are recognized and acted upon properly. Seeking counseling and even medication therapy can help put a person back on the right path. Trying to work through a combination of anxiety and depression alone generally is not advised.
Martin Richfield has been involved in online business since 1996. He uses article marketing as his primary traffic source. He has been involved in a number of industries which gives him the knowledge to write on a broad range of subjects. For more details go to: http://anxiety.smartbizzness.com
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