Can You Control Your Mood?

The word emotion is the a combination of feeling and motion...actions taken based on a feeling. For many people their 'feelings' and 'emotions' ruin their lives. They feel bad so they abuse, argue, don't show affection, put others down, don't work hard at their job, withdraw from the world and leave others to carry their burden, or cause damage to themselves and others.

Most of us can recognize an abusive person. Everyone but the abusive person sees their behavior as wrong. The abusive person feels like they are fully justified because they were driven by 'emotions.'

Few of us recognize the passive version. The person who feels bad so they guilt others into doing things for them. These people may shop until their family is in debt. OR, guilt others into buying things to make them feel better. These people can even do worse, invite an alcoholic out to dinner and then drink in front of them - offering them some, or take an overweight person to a restaurant and manipulate them into breaking their diet.

Manipulation, passive aggression, and violence can all ruin our lives. Many people start innocently enough, but the behavior becomes a learned pattern. It may grow stronger, even becoming a chemical reliance. I've met people who are addicted to the 'fear flight' chemicals released when something is wrong, so they cause all sorts of fights to feed their addiction.

Others may be addicted to the feelings of depression and dispondency. They become lost in self loathing and depression.

Eventaully the day comes when we no longer control our emotions - they control us. When it becomes extreme we even alter reality, lying, and pretending things happened differently to feed our problems. We set people up to fail.

Cognitive Restructuring

The basic premis is to change behaviors. Change the way you react to stimuli and emotional triggers. Change your expectations. Instead of focusing on how others should act, focus on taking action yourself.

Do not ask others to do something for you - do it yourself

Do not make others do something you do not do on a regular basis. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a real medical condition that needs medication to control. It should be treated as such and not indulged.

Do not expect others to be perfect or live up to your standards. In fact, learn to be nurturing and protective.

Cognitive Restructuring can help you achive the above and learn how to co-exhist with others in peace and harmony. Step one - override your 'learned' behaviors.

There are several simple ways to get started. The most primitive is to punish yourself by denying something seen as a treat every time you feel angry, annoyed, anxious, or upset.

Faulty thinking and unacceptable behavior patterns can be controlled.

Do You Need Help?

1. Do you arrive home and need to 'put things right?'
2. Do people avoid you?
3. Are you always overlooked for promotion, favors, awards?
4. Are your family members ruining your life?
5. Do you hurt people? Don't explain just answer yes or no.
6. Do you need to be alone for long periods of time.

Do You Want Help?

1. Do you want to be seen as the leader of the pack?
2. Do you want to be happy?
3. Do you want to lose your family?
4. Do you want to be loved?

If you are ready to change then you can. You have the power to control your emotions. I've found some articles with good information. Normally I would include an article here, but there is too much good information about Cognitive Restructuring on the net.