Anger And Self Esteem

One of the saddest things is the fact that almost all trauma in our lives comes back to haunt us in the form of anger. There are many people who are good people but they cannot maintain a long term relationship because they are unable to manage their anger.

There is hope. There are two types of anger. The fear of being hurt. And, selfish manipulation of others. Yes, you noticed that there is no 'good' anger. You are never allowed to hurt another person or bully them. Losing control of your anger does more damage to yourself than it ever does to others.

The fear of being hurt is actually the easiest type to overcome. Selfish anger is hard, because it means you need to stop being selfish. One person wrote a book that said they don't waste time with selfish people who have anger issues. They said that anyone can overcome a selfish (narcissistic) anger problem in 15 minutes if they choose to.


Anger And Self Esteem

It is often heard people admitting that they keep even minor feelings or irritation well-hidden because they are ashamed of it. As most people's ideas of 'goodness' include benevolence, tolerance, generosity and kindliness, angry or negative feelings are often banished to the private world of fantasy and dreams.

These can, of course, be very natural and safe healing abodes for difficult feelings - as long as we do not hate ourselves for actually experiencing them there. But how good do we ourselves feel when we are carrying in our heads awful things we would like to do, or dreamed last night of doing, to get our own back on someone who have hurt us? It is very certain, that many people mind it excruciatingly difficult to confess their angry feeling because they are somehow convinced of the fact that if an outburst takes place, then the people around them will reject them out of fear and loathing.

Similarly, many people have also admitted that they are gaining vicarious from books, films and plays where anger is expressed, sometimes quite horrifically and destructively. They are worried that their interest proves that at some deep level they are just as evil and violent as the fictitious characters, and not only that, if they were to realize their anger, they would be just as destructive themselves.

Many other people have their self esteem damaged because they have actually experienced disapproval and rejection in direct response to the expression of their anger. If this happens frequently, it can make them feel very despairing about themselves, because they begin to wonder if they will ever be capable of loving or being loved, or of achieving success.

There are two main reasons why the expression of anger can be followed by disapproval or rejection:
1.The receptionists themselves have such low self-esteem or are so stressed that they themselves are not able to cope up with the anger which is being directed at them.
2.The anger has been expressed in a threatening or unjust manner.

So now, it is upon us to identify which if these two reasons is involved, is vitally important, because the first reason is neither the fault nor the responsibility of the angry person. But the second one is definitely our concern and we do have the power to do something about it. We can obviously learn to manage our anger more assertively. If we sincerely try it out, then we will see the difference soon. It will not only improve our personal relationships but it will also enhance our self esteem.




Work at Home Freelance
In Celebration of Older Women
Pro Aging
Beautiful Forever
Living With Food Related Diseases
Lifestyle and Wellness